A Frustrating Thanksgiving
Posted on Dec 1, 2014 | 0 comments
I debated writing this post for a couple of days because of the personal nature, but the continued lack of understanding of transgender issues just isn’t acceptable.
On Thanksgiving, AJ said she was thankful for having such a loving family and she said she was happy. But later the same day, she went to a negative, dark place. She said she wasn’t happy and was frustrated. She said she is frustrated and sad because she is transgender. She said she already lost her first best friend because she transitioned, and his mom wasn’t accepting. She said she’s constantly worried that people will find out she’s trans and will reject her for it.
At no point did the thought even occur to her that she could “switch back” or “just be a boy again” to change this and end the frustration. This is important. Because I still hear all the time that she is confused, she could change her mind, or that we are forcing her to be someone she isn’t, everyone reading this needs to understand that she doesn’t think about being a boy because she isn’t one. (And I say this because my posts are public and “friends of friends” often read them and have those thoughts.)
She is a girl, a transgender girl, and she is sad and frustrated. But her sadness and frustration isn’t from being trans. It’s from being judged for being trans. Do you see the difference? It’s a huge difference because it IS something that can be changed. She can’t change who she is, but the judgmental non-approving attitudes from people in our society CAN change.
If you are my friend on Facebook (where this was originally posted), I know you already get this. Heck, half of you are trans or have a family member who is. So I know you get it. This post is for your friend, co-worker, long-lost high school buddy or anyone else who stumbles across it. Stop the judgement. Stop calling transgender people “gross”. Stop saying you have a right to call them any name you want. You don’t. Treat people with respect and work on fixing yourself before you try to “fix” someone else.
