Myths About Transkids
1. The parents are liberals pushing a gay agenda.
Transgender and gender-variant children come from all kinds of families: liberal, conservative, non-political, religious, agnostic, atheist, gay, straight, 2-parent households, single parents, blended families, and so on. There is not one kind of family with an agenda out there trying to turn all of their kids into transkids.
2. The parents (or a desperate mom) wanted a girl, so they turned their child into one.
Most parents we know simply want healthy kids. Sure, some people have a preference for boys versus girls, or maybe a dad hoped for a Daddy’s Girl after having six boys in a row, but no parent would be able to convince a child day-in-and-day-out to act like another gender.
3. There was too much female influence on the child, so “he” just grew up convinced that he was a girl.
How many boys do you know who grew up with a lot of sisters but didn’t end up transgender? Probably quite a few. African American families are known for having strong females running their households, but we don’t have millions of transmen overtaking their communities. Female influence isn’t a bad thing and it certainly can’t change a child’s gender.
4. “Kids have no idea what they want or who they are. My kid wants to be a dog. Should I let him?”
Well, that’s up to you, but I wouldn’t. There is a profound difference between wanting to be something in imaginary play and in declaring who you are insistently, consistently and persistently. Those are three markers that set transgender children apart.
5. Kids shouldn’t have to learn about sex at such a young age.
I agree, so it’s a good thing that being transgender has nothing to do with sex! Gender identity is strictly how a person views him or herself on the inside, and it is completely separate from who we are attracted to.
6. Transgender people are perverts and shouldn’t be in the bathroom with “normal” people.
I don’t know what you go into a bathroom to do, but I know what every transgender person I’ve ever met goes in there for…and it isn’t to look around. It’s to go into a stall, lock the door, and pee where no one else can see him or her.
7. God hates transgender people. They are sinners and going to Hell.
God taught us to love one another. Jesus sought out those that others rejected. Some people choose to embrace Biblical verses that seem to say being transgender is wrong. Instead, focus on verses like first Samuel 16:7 which says, “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'”
There is also a pervasive myth that most kids will outgrow any signs of gender dysphoria once they reach puberty. This myth is based on flawed research and the old guidelines for diagnosing Gender Identity Disorder, which combined groups of gender non-conforming children with those who expressed a deeply held belief that their gender was different from their sex assigned at birth. This myth is being reexamined as more research becomes available, and a good look at the reasons for its prevalence can be found in the articles “The Pernicious Junk Science Stalking Trans Kids” and “Detransition, Desistance, and Disinformation: A Guide for Understanding Transgender Children Debates“.
In short, both cisgender and transgender children know who they are. The gender development of both are similar, and transgender children who are affirmed thrive and have normative levels of depression compared to a cis control group.
